We've all done it. You're in the store, let's say Trader Joes or BevMo, and you're standing there, arms akimbo, possibly scratching your beard (if you have one), confronted by a wall of bottles...and if you happen to be in the Imports Section, you have no idea what the labels are trying to say to you. So what do you do? You're certainly NOT leaving without a bottle. You're determined to show your girlfriend (or boyfriend or wife or life partner or the person you woke up with this morning) that, on the contrary, you are sexy and cultured, and that whole business with the wine in the box last time was dreadfully out of character.
So you look for the coolest label with a reasonable price (too cheap and the wine could really suck, too expensive and you will have felt like that dude you saw in the club the other night who ordered Crystal simply so he could say he was sippin on Krystaaal in the club last night). And roll the dice.
I understand this. You're not a bad person for having done it. Just don't EVER, EVER do it again. There is one simple trick to buying imported wine with arcane labeling, and coming out a winner every time.
BUY ACCORDING TO IMPORTER
Instead of rolling the dice and buying by aesthetic, memorize import companies and look for their stamp on the back of the bottle. Usually, importers are pretty small and represent a certain style and quality level. Find a few you like and then look for them...odds are better that if you like one bottle from an importer, you'll like others.
Importers I look for:
Oops, sorry, if you want to know my secrets, come into the shop and check it out for yourself.
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